Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Global Best Practices

I'd like to think that a fair part of my life has been spent doing something that will, ultimately, leave behind more than just piles of paper in little manila files which will be incinerated after 8 years.

Dream on, woman.

But one thing that I have achieved, which I will now set down in writing (and free!) for the Good of All Mankind, is the knowledge of the Global Best Practices in Twix. Twix chocolate bars, one of the products of the good corporate citizen Mars, Inc. I have accumulated a good many years of experience in Twix and I can now safely say that I could be THE leading global authority on Twix. All your burning questions re Twix will be answered right here, right now.

Question 1: What is the difference between Twix bars in US and UK?

Twix bars sold in the US are far too sweet. A mouthful of sugar with every bite, or as my Math teacher used to say when reading our answer scrips, "Stops your heart first thing in the morning". The cookie and the caramel are also not cohesive - the taste does not meld together with the chocolate into one delightful crescendo in your mouth. It's as though all the separate ingredients are calling out "Look at me! Look at me!", and your tongue gets all confused. Kind of like drinking tea and coca-cola all at the same time. There is also a slight hint of puke flavour which sometimes happens when you put together too many dairy ingredients into 1 product.

The UK Twix, on the other hand, is a masterpiece of construction. The cookie, caramel and chocolate flavours blend harmoniously on the palate. Nibbled separately, they taste only passable but somehow everything just works wonderfully when you're chewing them together. It's a modern day miracle! Personally I find it incredibly difficult to eat the UK Twix mini-bar because I just end up with a table full of open wrappers and chocolate crumbs that I have to sweep into the dustbin. It's much less disruptive to work flow (typing, reading, telephone) if I just go straight for the regular sized bar and finish that.

Once during a long car trip from London to SomeSmallTown, we were down to a couple of Twix bars belonging to a travel companion that she simply refused to share. Not even a single bite. Things almost got ugly and I told myself it would never happen to me again. Or if it did, I'll be the one holding the Twix bar with Twix all over my face and hands, refusing to share with anyone.

Question 2: Why is Twix not popular in Singapore?

The answer to that is almost self-explanatory. You can buy Twix anywhere in Singapore - in the petrol station, any supermarket, even at the mama store. But nobody wants to. The answer is simple. Just try a Twix bar purchased in Singapore. Did the chocolate crumble in your mouth and in your hands? Do you have dry chocolate crumbs all over your lap? Did the caramel taste like sick-up? Did the cookie bend or break? and then crumble? Do you now wish you spent that dollar on a Hershey bar?

Question 3: What is the best Twix on Earth?

It's a close fight between European Twix and UK Twix. Both are creamy, not too sweet and the taste blends marvelously in your mouth (I am allowed to repeat myself - it's my blog). Right now I can't decide. If I ever do, you'll be the first to know.

Question 4: Have you given any thought to providing this valuable feedback to the Mars corporation?

Yes, I sent them a complaint letter in 1997, with my detailed views per above and on the disappointing cream content of their made-for-Singapore Twix bars which are actually manufactured in Australia. They responded with a very nice letter (which I still have somewhere) which mentioned a hamper of Mars products coming my way. Unfortunately this was never received. I believe they did send it, but it may have been, uh, intercepted by the receptionists of a previous firm. Although I've held the grudge up till now (her name is Leslie and I'm sure she's still got the extra hip fat from eating my chocolates), I've never really been all that upset about it because upon further consideration, it would've meant that I'd just be eating more crumbly Singapore Twix bars (accompanied by a moral obligation to finish them since they were a gift from that nice company).

Final Question: Aside from Twix, what else is good?

Lion bars. UK Lion bars. A friend back from London once misunderstood my repeated requests for TWIX TWIX TWIX and bought me Lion bars. I was very angry until I ate one of the Lion bars and was pleasantly surprised. The only difference between a Lion bar and a Twix is that the cookie is replaced with rice crispies. The result is a lighter, fluffier taste, less sweet, but without the oomph that the cookie imparts to the palate. Like sipping Pepsi when you're expecting Coke - your taste buds are looking for that extra taste-note at the end which is just not there. But it's still satisfying.

35 Comments:

At 12:51 PM, Blogger gremlin said...

oh you've never been more right. that's why I survived on twix during exam periods every year for 4 years. and it just never tasted the same back home. now everything's clearer.....

 
At 2:04 PM, Blogger HairyDonut said...

Yeah. You went from Twix heaven to Twix hell.

 
At 7:20 PM, Blogger Michael McClung said...

lion bars have rice (in the chocolate shell) IN ADDITION TO the cookie, not instead of. You are obviously not an expert on lion bars.

 
At 11:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lion Bars are merchandized commercially by Nestle, whereas Cadbury's does manufacture a similiar product marketed with the nomenclature of "Picnic Bar", which is the popular version of this type of chewy yet crunchy calorifically dense product in the civilized world, videlicet, Australia. Although I see it too is available in England.

Picnic Bars have rice cripsies AND peanuts AND raisins ("Picnic? It's a f****ing FEAST!" was the failed ad campaign) within the chocolate coating and around the central wafer. No peanuts and raisins in Lion Bars. Very poor showing.

And you can't be referring to me as the friend who brought you only copious supplies of said Lion Bars and made you angry, as I brought you both Lion Bars AND Twix, although you only ever thanked me for the Twix. Or was that last part of your post some sort of an oblique apology for this gratitudinal ellipsis???

Hmmm???

 
At 9:34 AM, Blogger HairyDonut said...

No no! We was misunderstood!

I was referring to an incident that occurred some 8 years ago when a request for Twix resulted in only Lion bars. I don't hold grudges, but don't you think that a person who has perfect sight and hearing should've been able to distinguish between the 2?

I was amazed and awed by the quality of Twix and Lion bars that you had brought back, in response to a request for a mixture of Twix and Lion bars. The husband and son (secret sharers of the loot) have similarly been awed and amazed. Let's meet up again over some more beer chicken!

 
At 1:50 PM, Blogger expat@large said...

Why did I come out as anonymous on that last comment?

The mysteries of blogger?

 
At 2:15 PM, Blogger HairyDonut said...

Not sure... but there was no confusion whatsoever. I remember people through their Twix rating. You have a rating of Twix/LB 5, which is the highest.

 
At 6:42 PM, Blogger lanfear said...

What can you recommend this poor benighted soul who only loves dark chocolate?

 
At 12:56 AM, Blogger expat@large said...

Belgium?

 
At 7:46 AM, Blogger The Screwy Skeptic said...

oh gee, i never knew that before. i just figured there was some unviersal recipe to a twix bar... hm, food for thought.

 
At 8:59 PM, Blogger Agagooga said...

Is there Twix in Malaysia?

 
At 3:54 AM, Blogger HyosHi said...

Recently I found that I dont seem to find twix bars selling in singapore. Am I simply not looking at the right places(ntuc, cold storage, shop and save) or are they gone?

 
At 1:32 PM, Blogger Han said...

you are all wrong! Kinder Bueno is the bestest!

 
At 11:11 AM, Blogger HairyDonut said...

To Agagooga and Alonso: Twix bars in Singapore and Malaysia are like a person with a HUGE inferiority complex at a party. They're there, but they've managed to blend so well into the wallpaper that you'd really have to be looking for them to find them. Sometimes, you even need the help of the party host to point them out.

Personally I find it disturbing that you'd want to eat them. Take a hint from the shelf stockist who put the Hershey and Dove bars at standing-person-eye-level: SAVE YOURSELF - BUY THESE INSTEAD.

It could also be that stocks of Twix in Singapore and Malaysia are reduced through lack of demand. Or no demand. Maybe the good people at Mars Corporation tried tasting their own product and then ran for the loo.

To Ianfear: I've heard great things from dark chocolate lovers about the stuff at Leonidas and Godiva. Am not sure if Royce stocks dark choc by itself - I've got a feeling that they do, but mixed with liquier or some other ingredient.

 
At 11:12 AM, Blogger HairyDonut said...

I can't spell liquier.

 
At 8:29 PM, Blogger Agagooga said...

The Twix in Singapore must be made in Malaysia...

 
At 5:51 AM, Blogger Cobalt Paladin said...

Just wondering if you've noticed the increase in readership caused you've been tomorrowed! submitted by The Screwy Skeptic. :)

 
At 9:44 AM, Blogger HairyDonut said...

Legal Janitor: Kinder Bueno is great if you like a hazelnut, liquid chocolate filling and wafer combo. I honestly tried to switch brands when I came back from my holiday and found out I was in Twix Hell, but obsession is not a choice.

Hang on a minute. I'm talking to a guy who lives in Australia where the chocolate bars at the supermarket and convenience store don't taste like you just retched into your own mouth. Aarrgghgh!!

Cobalt: I have no sitemeter, but the Husband did mention that I got tomorrowed and I'm astounded and amazed!!! Also very very flattered. It makes me feel so much better on a really bad day.

 
At 9:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

reese's peanut butter cups rule! :D

 
At 10:38 AM, Blogger HairyDonut said...

I agree - they are surprisingly good, even for someone who does not like peanut butter.

 
At 9:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your post is still relevant 3 years after the original post date. For all you Singaporeans still hankering for a decent Twix bar, Mustafa is selling ones from Greece or Norway or something. I can't make out the writing. A big pack of bitesized candies goes for around $6.

 
At 11:58 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

huangqihang0529kate spade
oakley sunglasses outlet
tory burch outlet online
oakley sunglass
chanel handbags
coach factory outlet
fitflops sale clearance
ray ban outlet
michael kors uk
michael kors handbags
burberry scarf
ray ban glasses
tory burch outlet
oakley sunglasses
pandora jewelry
air max 95
michael kors bag
true religion jeans
true religion sale
toms shoes
michael kors bags
hollister clothing
cheap ray ban sunglasses
pandora outlet
mont blanc pens
polo ralph lauren
hollister clothing store
christian louboutin sale
gucci outlet
kate spade bags
ray bans
pandora charms
oakley sunglasses sale
rolex watches
michael kors outlet
coach outlet online
kate spade uk
coach outlet
gucci uk
q

 
At 4:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

2015-10-6 xiaozhengm
Polo Ralph Lauren Factory Outlet
hermes bags
Authentic Coach Factory Outlet Online
michael kors outlet
oakley sunglasses,oakley vault,prescription sunglasses,polarized sunglasses,aviator sunglasses,spy sunglasses,oakleys,oakley canada,cheap oakley sunglasses,oakley frogskins,oakley holbrook,cheap sunglasses,wayfarer sunglasses,oakley standard issue,fake oakleys,oakley glasses,oakley.com,oakley prescription glasses,oakley goggles,sunglasses for men,oakley gascan,oakley store,oakleys sunglasses
Louis Vuitton Outlet High Quality
Discount Clearance Coach Outlet Handbags
Designer Handbags Louis Vuitton
louis vuitton outlet stores
coach outlet store online
Abercrombie & Fitch Kids Clothing
Michael Kors outlet Sales Big Discount
Coach Factory Outlet Online Authentic
Authentic Louis Vuitton Handbags Outlet
Louis Vuitton Backpack Purse
Coach Outlet Official Website
Air Jordan 4 Green Glow
Prescription Oakley Sunglasses Wholesale
Michael Kors Outlet Online USA Stores
Nike Lebron James Shoes For Sale
true religion outlet
Louis Vuitton Bags Original
true religion jeans
Red Bottom Shoes Christian Louboutin
toms
louis vuitton
Michael Kors Outlet Handbags Wholesale
Authentic Louis Vuitton Handbags Cheap Sale
coach factory outlet
ray ban sunglasses
Louis Vuitton Neverfull GM Monogram
Abercrombie and Co Stoves and Awnings
canada goose outlet usa

 
At 9:34 AM, Blogger oakleyses said...

louis vuitton, oakley sunglasses, oakley sunglasses, tory burch outlet, ray ban sunglasses, oakley sunglasses, ugg boots, longchamp outlet, burberry, louboutin shoes, ray ban sunglasses, prada handbags, louis vuitton outlet, gucci outlet, louis vuitton, chanel handbags, longchamp, michael kors outlet, louboutin outlet, nike free, ugg boots, polo ralph lauren outlet, oakley sunglasses, nike air max, replica watches, christian louboutin outlet, michael kors outlet, longchamp outlet, tiffany jewelry, michael kors outlet, michael kors outlet, louis vuitton outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet, kate spade outlet, prada outlet, nike outlet, ray ban sunglasses, michael kors outlet, uggs on sale, louboutin, tiffany and co, louis vuitton, burberry outlet online, nike air max, jordan shoes, ugg boots, cheap oakley sunglasses

 
At 9:37 AM, Blogger oakleyses said...

ray ban pas cher, kate spade handbags, nike roshe, vans pas cher, lacoste pas cher, nike roshe run, abercrombie and fitch, true religion jeans, timberland, nike air max, coach factory outlet, true religion outlet, burberry, michael kors, coach purses, vanessa bruno, michael kors, converse pas cher, hollister pas cher, nike blazer, michael kors, oakley pas cher, tn pas cher, ray ban uk, mulberry, louboutin pas cher, hogan, ralph lauren uk, michael kors, coach outlet, sac guess, new balance pas cher, air force, nike free, lululemon, ralph lauren pas cher, coach outlet, north face, hermes, nike air max, true religion jeans, nike air max, sac longchamp, hollister, true religion jeans, north face, longchamp pas cher, air max, air jordan pas cher, nike free run uk

 
At 9:42 AM, Blogger oakleyses said...

toms shoes, moncler, pandora charms, pandora jewelry, michael kors handbags, barbour, replica watches, moncler, doudoune canada goose, pandora charms, wedding dresses, doke gabbana outlet, canada goose, louis vuitton, bottes ugg, barbour jackets, louis vuitton, karen millen, michael kors outlet, marc jacobs, pandora jewelry, moncler, louis vuitton, supra shoes, juicy couture outlet, montre pas cher, moncler, canada goose outlet, ugg pas cher, swarovski crystal, links of london, juicy couture outlet, moncler outlet, moncler, canada goose, canada goose uk, louis vuitton, lancel, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, canada goose outlet, canada goose, michael kors outlet online, hollister, moncler, moncler, ugg boots uk, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, thomas sabo, canada goose, swarovski, sac louis vuitton pas cher, coach outlet

 
At 9:57 AM, Blogger 艾丰 said...

jianbin1204
michael kors online outlet
wedding dresses
michael kors handbags
uggs on sale
ugg clearance
tods shoes
bottega veneta outlet online
uggs outlet
links of london uk
replica watches
nike shoes
arizona cardinals
mont blanc
lululemon outlet store
miami dolphins
basketball shoes
cleveland cavaliers
michael kors handbags,michael kors outlet,michael kors,kors outlet,michael kors outlet online,michael kors outlet online sale,michael kors handbags clearance,michael kors purses,michaelkors.com,michael kors bags,michael kors shoes,michaelkors,cheap michael kors
michael kors outlet online
salomon speedcross 3
abercrombie fitch
iphone cases
cheap oakley sunglasses
louis vuitton uk
nike huarache
woolrich clothing
celine outlet online
ralph lauren,ralph lauren uk,ralph lauren outlet,ralph lauren outlet online,polo ralph lauren outlet,ralph lauren polo
oakley outlet online
tory burch sandals
indianapolis colts
soccer jerseys,cheap soccer jerseys,cheap soccer jerseys for sale,soccer jersey,usa soccer jersey,football jerseys
ugg boots

 
At 6:03 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

michael kors outlet store
michael kors handbags outlet
air max 2016
links of london
michael kors outlet
michael kors factory outlet
burberry scarf
asics shoes
adidas ultra boost uncaged
kyrie irving shoes
20170712

 
At 9:01 AM, Blogger raybanoutlet001 said...

moncler jackets
pandora jewelry
ugg boots
kate spade sale
pandora outlet
ray ban sunglasses outlet
green bay packers jerseys
hermes belts
michael kors bags
coach outlet
2017.7.17

 
At 4:50 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

nmd
adidas nmd
adidas tubular shadow
adidas tubular
adidas tubular shadow
adidas tubular
nike air huarache
nike huarache
air jordan
authentic jordans

 
At 4:49 PM, Blogger raybanoutlet001 said...

coach outlet
pandora charms
ugg slippers
lions jerseys
mlb jerseys wholesale
michael kors outlet
michael kors outlet online
longchamp sale
cheap ray ban sunglasses
tn pas cher

 
At 3:56 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

air jordans
stephen curry shoes
yeezy boost 350 v2
links of london
yeezy boost
longchamp handbags
nike mercurial
adidas nmd
lebron james shoes
adidas ultra boost

 
At 11:46 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

www1029

ultra boost 3.0
coach outlet
lacoste polo
christian louboutin shoes
ralph lauren polo
jordans
soccer shoes
jordan 8
moncler jackets
canada goose outlet






 
At 11:01 AM, Blogger 5689 said...

zzzzz2018.11.6
christian louboutin outlet
ugg boots
hermes belt
canada goose outlet
skechers shoes
new balance shoes
fitflops clearance
canada goose outlet
red bottom shoes
longchamp outlet

 
At 5:44 PM, Blogger ирина каменская said...

Do you want to have a good time sitting at your computer at home and at the same time earn money? Then I want to advise you one site where it is possible and easy Follow this link and abrai your money Best Slot I promise you will like it here.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home